Jesus is a one generation lion and tiger offspring called a liger

You keep expecting Jesus to eventually tell the truth, but he is a mastermind compulsive liar who looks at combinations of threes that go together like Tom & Jerry, Itchy & Scratchy.

Jesus told everyone that they would walk up a staircase to the gates of heaven where they would then walk though and the gates would open to a garden of Eden. There are 26 gardens each beginning with a diffeent letter. Once you get to your gate the gates close and you are trapped in the garden which turns out to be a pit. The Revemal then stands at the gate infront of you, your entire life trying to get out. There are Revemals, Revesects, Revesh, Reveibians, Reverds, Revetilians and Reverms.